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We obviously still had feelings for each other, and without explaining why he'd split up with me, Chris declared, "If we're going to be together, let's make it official: Will you marry me? I also had a stubborn streak, which I practiced as a child and maintained throughout our marriage. I wanted to show Chris that I would stick with him through everything.

I didn't believe in premarital sex, but once we were engaged I went on the Pill and told Chris I thought we should make love.

When Chris spoke to a health official who called to check on me (my case had been reported to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta), he realized our baby was at risk for premature birth and newborn pneumonia, and he became hysterical, as though he were having a nervous breakdown.

That evening, after we'd watched our three children play on the lawn of our home in the Washington, D. I was 30 years old when this happened, and Chris and I had been married for 11 years.

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Early in our relationship, Chris told me he'd had homosexual experiences as a teenager but assured me it was youthful curiosity.This pronouncement made me feel more secure, but I shouldn't have ignored my nagging intuition that something was seriously wrong.After all, what man wouldn't jump into bed with his fiancé.He refused, explaining that he respected me too much and that sex had ruined his previous relationships.Frustrated, I kept reminding myself that, as he said, "We will have the rest of our life together." In premarital counseling, we told the minister that divorce didn't fit with our values.

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