My boyfriend have been dating 8 years
That when he finally does ask (if he finally asked), I won't feel happy, I'll just feel relieved, or even angry (why now? ) I hate waiting and not being in control of my own life.I can't propose to him, as he's said he'd say no.We've lived together for 9 of those years, we've both got good jobs, a home, great sex life, we enjoy each others company, my only complaint is that he still hasn't proposed.We are constantly asked by family and friends "when are you two going to get married?" And he normally makes a joke or pulls a jokey panicked face and the subject is quickly changed. This was the first time he'd half admitted being ready for marriage and I got my hopes up.About two years ago, after the 29th February passed (the day when traditionally a woman can propose to a man) he told me that he had thought I was going to propose to him. About six months later we went on holiday and on an evening out, over some drinks, he admits he had been planning to propose on this holiday but had fallen ill with the flu before we went and didn't manage to get out to buy a ring, but Christmas and New year's are coming up so probably then (his exact words).
At 27 years old, you should be able to have a mature, adult conversation.I joked about this a few weeks ago and he said " I'd say no! And with every holiday and special occasion that passes, I found myself feeling like I'm not good enough. And every time a couple of our friends get engaged (after much less time together than us) I feel a little hurt and angry before I can feel happy for them.I worry that I'm actually starting to resent him.Sit him down and have a good, open talk about your future.Talk about what marriage means to him, and if it's something he honestly wants with you move on to the next part. We’ve also survived the “so when ya gonna have kids? Again, child free or childless is a perfectly valid lifestyle.